Yesterday, I had two experiences which would have been beautiful to catch on film to highlight the attachment system at work. In the morning, A was playing and I went to the next room to vacuum. When I switched the vacuum cleaner on, I heard a squeal over the noise and A appeared in the doorway crying and speed crawling towards me. She must have been very quick to cover the distance so rapidly. She avoided the machine and reached me quickly, then stood up holding on my legs and reached up to be picked up.
In the afternoon, a plumber came to fix the tap. When she heard the door, she smiled as I think she was expecting her dad to come in, but when she saw it was a stranger, she clung to me.
The attachment system is activated at times of fear. As I’ve mentioned before, the ‘strange situation’ scenario demonstrates attachment behaviour because it places infants under increasing levels of stress. Yesterday at home, A felt stressed. In attachment terms, she was proximity seeking: coming close to me for security. It is easy to see the evolutionary benefits of this, and it can also be seen in the animal kingdom. Bowlby developed attachment theory based on observations in the animal kingdom, and Harry Harlow in the 1960s did some experiments with monkeys to show some principals of attachment.
Infants are vulnerable: they can’t move very quickly; they can’t climb trees to get away from a predator; they can’t defend themselves. Their best chance of survival, be it from a lion or a vacuum cleaner, is to get close to mum and up in her arms. And we need to pick them up and let them know that they are safe.